Religious Jokes

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. “Mama, look what I found”, the [...]

S.O.B.

Girl: “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”
Priest: “What have you done my child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a [...]

Politics Explained

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?”
Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your [...]

Computer Diagnosis

One day Bill complained to his friend, “My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor.”
His friend offered, “Don’t do that. There’s a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem [...]

Q & A

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: How can you tell [...]

Lawyer And Blonde

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY.The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch [...]

sheep dog bra

The success of the “Wonder Bra” for under-endowed women, has encouraged
the designers to come out with a bra for
over-endowed women.
It’s called the “Sheep Dog Bra”…
It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.

Dictionary Of Dating

ATTRACTION….. the act of associating horniness with a particular person.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ….. what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.
DATING….. the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn [...]

Marriage Quotes

The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked, �What�s on the TV?� I said, �Dust!�
In the beginning God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then neither God nor man has rested.
My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four [...]

She Was So Blonde

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
she tripped over a cordless phone.
when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said “Airport Left”, she turned around and went home.
she thought General Motors was in the Army.
she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
she got stabbed during a shoot-out.
she thought [...]